leeismetal

I woke up this morning at 8:30, ate a bowl of cereal then went back to sleep until 11:30.
I have been in a strange mood all day, because I never sleep in.

Marshal and I cleaned the back yard, and moved wood from the pile at the back of the yard
and stacked them against the house.

it was sunny today, for once.
though the weather man says it should be back
to rain in no time.

i killed time doing nothing all day. arranged my room a bit more.
i found out i didn't work, then took the bus to get my charger.
:|

at the bus station on my way home i saw Raven, a boy
I met at station seven. he's 14 and a frequent drinker. he
seems to be doing well though, so that's good.

I got stares from a sketchy looking guy as I got on the bus,
so I made careful to sit in a seat where there were no open seats
arround it. a person got up, and he sat down in the seat right in
front of me.... awesome.

he looked right into my eyes, and of corse i wouldn't look back,
so i darted my vision from a glass window, to the back of an asian
man's head, to my cell phone... 

"How you doinn'?"
he asked quietly..

I ignored him..

His eyes ran from my lip rings to my plugs.

"How YOU doinnnn'?"
he pushed

"just fine thanks"


he smiled, blinked a few times, twitched, then looked away.
I sat there texting. waiting for my stop, and listening to the 
creep talk about cats with the man across from me.

a seat opened up on the upper level of the bus so i ran for it.
i sat there watching for my stop. 

"SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK"
out of the corner of my eye i saw the man rolling up his sleeve,
and smacking a tattoo on his arm. 
"yeah minx cats are cool... TODAY I SCARED A SMALL GIRL!"
he said to the man.
after smacking his tattoo a few more times he said 
"I asked her if she was afraid of boats, and she said yes. so
i lifted my sleeve and showed her this!"

not impressive. not impressive at all you son of a bitch.


I pulled the wire and rushed off the bus, and found him right behind me.
I grabbed my phone and shoved it against my ear.
"YEAH SHARON, COULD YOU COME GET ME NOW? I'M JUST DOWN THE ROAD!!"

hearing this he walked passed me, his head turned and looking back 
at me his entire way. I stayed in that spot until he was out of sight,
then began walking down the road towards home.

I almost had another heart attack when a dark blue car stopped next to me.
I almost started running when I remembered Sharon had brought their car
into town.

I had been expecting the prius.

so that's my day.
i feel sick to the stomache. and like crying.
i don't like anything that's going on right now.
i'm frustrated, and might force myself to sleep
early tonight..

 Today was a bit of an extreme for me. I woke up at five in the morning to Cassi's coughing and getting up to take a bath. I fell back asleep until 8, when I woke up and got ready for work at 10 (Venture Data).

I balled all day long getting above bid for every hour. pick up that cash moneyyy.

On the way home Cory and I were texting back and forth, trying to figure out if I could go with him to see Whitechapel. When Cassi, Marshal and I got home after dropping Dalton off at Scott's, we were greeted by Cassi's parents (the owners of the house who will be visiting here for 1-2 weeks). Shortly after the greeting we were sat down for a lecture. Our heat bill totaled up, for this month alone, to be $400. . . eek.

But her parents shook it off, and we all settled down and finished out the talk on a good note. I love them all so much, closest thing I've had to an imediate family I've ever had. Sharon (Cassi's mom) and I went to World Market and picked up some groceries. Cassi is sick as a dog, and was craving soy dream ice cream, so we hit that shit up. hahah. 

So I didn't get to go to a concert, but I spent time with people I love :)

Sharon and John pretty much plucked me out of Cassi's room and gave me my own room when we got back from the store. I haven't had my OWN room since... September. wow. It feels great. I have my own walls to put all of my art, my own space to sit with the light on writing as late into the night as I please. Though, don't get me wrong. Cassi and I had one daaank room with our Spiderman and Hello Kitty haha : D 
<33

My phone charger is at Cory's house and my phone is pretty much killllled.
I really don't want to wake up early and bus over to Cory's for it before he goes to work lol.
I wake up early every morning, but I certainly don't aim to go adventuring out in the cold just
for fun. hahah..
maybe i'll wait til he gets off work.
I hope I don't work.

I'm uploading the pictures for Take Your Last Breath finally.
I just haven't had the chance to do it lately. I somehow, have been busy?

I don't know with what.. haha

The subject.. I believe it might be dust from my pastels c:

MY EARS ARE AT 3/4!!

no offense, but you're stupid to say I should get a better boyfriend.

Today I woke up in my favorite pair of arms :) 
& my favorite azn girl on the couch.

I wake up a baller, sportin' my messy hair and fucked lobes. and you still think i'm adorable. you make me smile.

I hopped in Amanda's crapavan and we drove with the sunshine in our winshield. After changing my clothes and running a few errands I went back to Cory's house. we stretched my ears then went out to lunch/dinner at Three Forks. POM juice and two gross sodas later, we ended up at his mommy's house, where we watched rediculous videos with his brothers.

I came home to vegan peanut butter cookies Cassi baked me!
I cleaned my room, took a shower, did laundry,
then washed dishes. we went to freddies and
i got her cough medicine, and vitamin E oil for my lobes.

this was my day pretty much.
Cassi's parents get here tomorrow.
I had to blow off my mom for them..

It's all good though. hopefully she'll
be coming tuesday!

I'm listening to Elephant Parade right now, wondering where my life is really going.. and honestly I feel I'll never know what I want. Ever have one of those moments where you just feel like screaming "I want my mommy?", .... or is that just me...

I should probably man up, seeing as how it's my fault I'm in this possition. I should probably turn off the depressing music and look at the bright side of it all.. Sometimes I just can't help but feel alone, no matter how big the crowd of surrounding people is. I just want to stand on my tip-toes and yell at the stars. 

Cassi and Marshal are asleep in their room, baby Dalton is asleep on the couch, and like always, I'm remain awake, watching the minutes add up to the next hour. I'll complain about how tired I am tomorrow, I always do. Sleep is such a waste of time though.

I'm the girl in the only illuminated window on Carolyn Drive. A blood red POM bottle, a flashing IM from Cory, and a pitch black window facing me. Across the street and behind some pine trees is some sort of mechanical plant, that shoots flames into the sky everynight. Sometimes I sit here for hours watching it, and it's warm inviting dance..


I don't really know how to go about writing about present things, actually. I don't so much feel comfortable. . . private posting time I guess.

I've been writing for years, about anything and everything. There's something about looking back at past journal entries that just makes me feel accomplished. Being able to sort through past events and major pieces of my life is a big part of how I deal with problems, because I can usually relate them to past happenings and solve them. That, and it's just nice to have memories that will be with me forever. I don't want to forget one single thing I've done, no matter how stupid, no matter the amount I wish I could take it back, I know it will help me someday : )

Born in California, surrounded by loving family and friends, I lived the first four year of my life in happiness. Blonde hair brighter than sunshine and chubby cheeks, everyone loved me, little miss Lisa Marie. Slightly before turning five, my mother moved me from Escondido, California to the ever-so-amazing Florence, Oregon. Warm sunny days morphed, becoming rainy, and filled with thick salty ocean air. I grew up not having many friends, only Uncle Mikey, Grandma Hazel, Grandpa Paul, and my Mother. Mikey and I would eat sticky honey sandwiches and listen to Led Zeppelin all day, my Mom would work, Grandma would cook all day for the Bed and Breakfast stayers, and Grandpa would go hit on the ladies working at McDonalds. 

Life became littered with friends occurring in patches. Heather & Tosha, Sammy, Marissa, Julie, Desi, and Kristina. I grew up afraid of bad things like weed and drinking, instead I stayed inside playing pokemon, drawing and writing.  I supose my geekyness saved me from a lot of stupid stuff early on.. Would you believe I wanted to be famous back then too? I thought I was pretty cool.. haha..

Towards the end of my 11 years in Florence, a girl named Claire stepped in, moved from California. She brought the passion for a new type of music with her. After being handed a CD of Bright Eyes and AFI, a binge began, of replacing old music for new. After Mikey passed away I didn't much like any of the music he and I had listened to.. 

Years went by and I become accustomed to ALL music. I love it all. Any form of creativity, really. Writing, drawing, painting, music, photography, you name it.

I found myself craving for a place to put all this talent, and I decided I would be famous someday. haha. So when I had the opportunity, I snatched it up and left home. There was nothing left for me in Florence. I came to Eugene with a dream, and just about nothing else.. I lived in "The Space" for a while. A local band (Take Your Last Breath)'s practice space. Which was a tiny, freezing storage unit. I met new friends at Churchill, and hung out with bands. I spent time at Station Seven, a home for teens who don't have one.. For a while I began to have a huge doubt in any of my dreams.. I spent my days listening to music, and writing about everything that I wished would happen... 

One day I got a phone call from a girl at school, she invited me over to her house, and never let me leave. Cassi Taylor and her amazing parents pulled me from a pool of dispair. 

& now i'm standing tall again, ready to continue on trying to make something worth while out of my life.